Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I took care of MYSELF to take care of MY FAMILY

“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.”                                                                                                                                                   -Ralph Marston
I love to hear these words- ‘Take care,’ makes me feel so special and cared.
I even like to hear when somebody says: ‘Take care of yourself!!’ Feels like ‘you’ matter in their life. But I could have never learned the serious message in it, until I realized- this means, “look at you- you have been neglecting yourself.”

Take care of yourself- really had a strong message for me.
I like to immerse myself and feel the wise words and suggestions- when I read books of my favorite authors. And this is when I came across the line -“Remember… nothing is as important as you are…..Take care of yourself…”
I paused for a moment to over think- Am I really taking care of myself? Do I really know what I want in life?
Talking to anybody won’t help you, as much as talking to yourself about you-would do. By the time I realized this- I was already a hypothyroid patient, a stay-at-home tired mom, a dependent wife -with no other identity- who had no future vision, subdued dreams, no passion to live with (except my daughter), and was still living a satisfied life- living happily- but not from inside out.
Taking care of my feelings, my needs and my dreams were so important; but I never paid attention to any of those emotions.
I kept my days busy- with my family, affectionate husband, adorable kid and life’s daily struggles.
The mantra of my life was-“Accept what is there without indulging in- what I want!” But inside me all I needed was: ‘A Life Lift.’ Certain constant creepy feelings kept stroking against my unspoken emotions.
Deep down inside me I always wanted to step forward and do something- I have been longing to start.
I felt restless, frustrated, depressed, and just like a failure. My thyroid problem helped me adding up to those negative feelings and I sensed- I am going to lose it!
I wanted some inspiration to take care of the loose ends in my life, behavior, career and my emotional needs. I wanted to have my own identity- apart from being a ‘dependent’ wife and a mother to 1-year old daughter.
I realized: I was not living my dreams; and that is not all I wanted. Rather than screaming demands, I decided to make my family understand- my values, dreams and passion- I must listen to my heart and carry forward this life-happily.
Life is just too short-to-not-dream and to-not- execute- your- dream (s) in real life. But actually, I was not sure-what I wanted to do and where to start from!
There was already 4 years gap between expectations and reality (in my career), and there wasn't anything I was doing, that could have defined my skills and experiences.
“I was just another woman- on a quest to-define her dreams and values.”
I didn’t have the courage to stand up again (all alone) and select my purpose. All I did was: just kept thinking- how to begin.
I was not unhappy with my present life, but, “I wasn’t happy either!”
I am glad: I realized it sooner than later. Taking care of my emotional needs was as important as taking care of my physical and social needs.

I didn’t have anybody to hold responsible for my present condition, but sometimes I felt- all were responsible- my family, my life, my idleness, my past, my disinterest and actually everything around me!
I decided: I will listen and comprehended every possible demand of my unspoken needs.
I took care of all the hidden stress- to balance my life.

Improving upon my emotional health was a rewarding experience, benefiting all aspects of my life: including boosting my dull attitude, building resilience, confidence in my acts, and adding to my overall enjoyment of life.
Few tasks I realized was necessary right away-
1.    I am first, while being there for my family always- I was already a tired mom and a restless dependent wife. But at that moment, all I needed was- a long worry-free nap!
 I could not think of anything else that would have satisfied- my not so pleasing heart and mind. I wanted to wake up fresh and energetic to take care of my family’s requests.

 2.    Understanding of my emotions to develop a ‘strong’ family- Always deep within me, I was struggling with some unspoken fears and failures. Fear to take on anything new-that may lead to another failure; while past failures kept haunting me over and over again. But soon I learned- I had gained a good amount of wisdom and courage from my failures, and so decided: I will take the challenge and move ahead in life.
 I allowed myself to dream once again, encouraged to try something new, and do it!

 3. Learned about my weaknesses to strengthen my family- We have more weaknesses than actually we can think and accept.   Next important thing I wanted to do was- to take control of my negative qualities like: feeling neglected, always ranting, hopelessness, uncertainty, unhappiness, disinterest and feeling regretful.
 I was afraid- I had actually passed a few to my family; because they knew- I was not an enthusiastic person (I used to be) anymore. Actually I was horrified by this thought- how I can help my family stand strong and take on any challenge- that life throws at them- when I am not confident!!
Ultimately the commitment to myself- helped me rediscover the power of my own spirit. I understood: When I learn more about myself- I can teach my family and guide them through similar paths that I tread!
 4. I decide to “live my passion” while practicing compassion- I followed my passion. My life is equally enjoyable now as it was before, but in a different way. I can ‘now’ define myself. I have a purpose. This explains everything. I was looking for a passion; for a purpose- that will define me. And I am glad: I was able to identify this.
 I risked taking up my writing career once again. I (always) wanted to share my experiences and help people- uplift their life –through emotional setbacks. And I knew ‘blogging’ was the best option. But I could not imagine- failing in life again!!
I decided to respect my well-being while remaining connected to my family-both physically and emotionally. But being a mother and a writer- was never going to be easy.
But I also didn't want to hold onto the regret, just being a stay-at-home mom, so I ‘valued my dream and taught my husband and kid too; to value each other’s happiness and dreams.

 5. I caught ‘my dreams’ to create new ones for my family- Certain areas of my life definitely needed attention and re-work like: mind, body, soul, emotions. Oh! Hope I did mention just few!
 I had to understand what can bring me happiness and a satisfactory life (at present) – to understand and care my family’s needs!
 I am glad- “I did take care of myself,” and improved all my tomorrows. “I remained concerned about my life, wishes; inculcated respect and ‘value for dreams’ in the family, while respecting my thoughts and visions.
End of the day- it was all about “attitude,” attitude towards own life. I continue to wear a ‘caring attitude’- for myself as well as family. It has been two and a half years now; I am still a dependent wife and a stay-at-home-mom; but now I live with an identity-that defines me and my purpose of living.
I have also added another passion to my hat- photography. I try to justify my roles while paying attention to my happiness, dreams and interests.

16 comments:

  1. Hi Epsita,
    Thanks so much for following my blog and for your kind comment dear! I love your blog and this post really hit home for me. While I try to make myself happy, take care of myself in the process of raising a toddler, there are days where I don't know how I will make it through my day! I try my best to do what I love everyday though to keep me going and to keep me feeling like I have passion for something. That is what is most important in life besides family and staying connected with friends. Love your writing style and keep in touch dear!
    xx Easy Outfits, by Pip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Pip!! It's lovely to connect with you and your stylish blog...Love it!! Sure dear! Take care and keep in touch.
      Love
      Epsita

      Delete
  2. Amazing post, I like how you opened yourself and treated this subject that is common to many women ! I am a married woman myself, I have a job and don't have kids yet but I already feel like there is something that I lack in my life, I am always struggling to find myself and to feel more...fulfilled ! Good luck in your journey, it's great that you are taking care of yourself, I do believe a happy family comes from happy individuals.

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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much, Vale for visiting me and leaving me a comment. Thank you for taking the time and interest to read my post. Means a lot!! I realized that; if I want to nurture a healthy and happy family- I should be a happy person first- from the inside out. So I decided to take care of my passion and dreams first; to lead my family towards theirs'.

      Following your blog with love now. Keep in touch!

      Regards,
      Epsita

      Delete
  3. Epsita, sounds like you've been on a marvelous journey of self-discovery and reaping many rewards. Keep it up!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much Marty Rubin. It was nice to have you here. Thank you for reading and commenting:)

      Regards,
      Epsita

      Delete
  4. I think one of the hardest things to do as a mom is to put yourself first. The irony is that by showing yourself some of the kindness/care you give others, you get better at everything-- INCLUDING taking care of others. Plus I think it's help teach our daughters to value themselves.

    That said, I still struggle with this sometimes:) It sounds like you're on the right track. And I love the idea of a "Life Lift."

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    Replies
    1. Hey Gina,

      Thank you very much. Nice to have you here. I second you in saying that; it is difficult to take care of yourself while being a mom, but I I always wanted to be a happy and energetic mom rather than being a nagging and tired mom. So taking care of my dreams, passion in life was important to guide my family successfully towards theirs'.

      So I had to take up this hard and selfish leap towards realizing my emotional needs. We as woman, always neglect ourselves and regret later. Kind of lead an unhappy and emotional life; but realizing our needs will always make us feel good about our roles and responsibilities and to carry them smoothly.

      Hope this article will be of some kind of help to many woman friends!!

      Thanks again!!
      Keep in touch.
      Love
      Epsita

      Delete
  5. Amazing writing dear.
    Love
    Will you like to follow each other on GFC, FB or Twitter?
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Sandy,

      Thank you so much!! Sure, following you in GFC, FB with love now
      Thank you for visiting me and reading and commenting. Means a lot.
      Keep in touch!
      Take care
      Love
      Epsita

      Delete
  6. Wonderful post...I like your blog.^^
    Maybe follow each other on bloglovin?
    Let me know follow you then back.
    Lovely greets Nessa

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Nessa,
    Nice to meet you. Thank you so much for visiting me and reading and commenting on my post. Means a lot:) Sure!! Following you and your blog now.
    Stay connected.
    Love
    Epsita

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you so much for the follow.
    Follow you back on bloglovin and gfc,too.
    Do you also follow me on gfc?
    Lovely greets from germany ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are welcome Nessa:) Thank you so much and it's lovely to connect with you. Stay in touch!! I did dear:)

      Delete
  9. Hey Epsita.. just chanced upon your blog and finding it very inspiring.. pls do keep sharing such words of wisdom :)
    good luck and wish you a great year ahead too :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Canary,
      Thank you very much. I am glad you visited me and found my blog inspiring. Means a lot!! Please keep visiting. Nice to connect with you.
      Thanks again.
      Regards,
      Epsita

      Delete

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