Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Beautiful Lessons Learned From Marriage

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Recently we celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary:) and I was more than excited to celebrate another blessed year of love and understanding.

We have worked 'hard' together, on certain things to make our relationship grow beautifully different. "I am not writing this post to give you some relationship (in marriage) advises; but, to share the lessons that I have learned in all these years. Days weren't easy for either of us; but a little effort, and more of patience got us to do-what we have done in all these years!

 Small sacrifices may go unnoticed, unappreciated (many times), but definitely brings-in peace, happiness, and satisfaction in a relationship. We don't need a 'perfect' person to marry and make a 'perfect marriage!' Rather, two imperfect people, who can feel happy and satisfied by accepting each other's imperfections-can be the definition of a 'good marriage'. 

All we did was; changed our attitude and behavior towards each other, towards children, towards responsibilities and or even towards doing family chores; and things started changing the better way!

Here are some life-changing lessons that I have learned (as a wife) in my marriage:

 1. Reduce your expectations.

"I know, we cannot do this!" We, women love to expect- surprises, love, care, understanding, gifts and what not! "I was no different! but when I self-analyzed, I found that my expectations were too much sometimes!" Rather than expecting a surprise gift; why not plan upon buying your husband/partner a surprise gift? If actions speak louder than words, this would be a way also to let him know that, "you like surprises." There are many reasons to not do anything as such, but try doing it once; or even thrice and see the results? "I am sure, you will see 'good changes' in your relationship!

2. Don't "Space Out!" 

Most of the times, problems appear in life because we don't listen! Try being a good listener than being a speaker-at least sometimes!

3. Respect Each Other's Passion
This is so important to balance your relationship. Try to have respect for each other's work and passion- even if you don't like it! It may mean the world to your partner, while you don't care. So be kind and patient. Once you start feeling the importance of your passion or favorite activity in your life; you will realize how important it is to respect other's passion too!

4. Be more present for each other

Do not interfere, if he is trying to avoid matters from you! Let him be confident of you to tell everything and anything to you! Wait! But always remain present in his life. Let him know that; "there will be always one person whom he can speak to- anytime."

5. Show more love personally than in public.

We like to show others' that," we are perfect couples in love." But the inside story may be different. Don't care what others think of you both. Important is how close and understanding you are with each other! How best you honor each other's feelings and intimacy. Don't feel bad, if you went over any arguments or disagreements in public! Nobody is perfect! Important is how you make up-to it! 

6. Voice your needs

Ask for help, when you need (from him). Not everybody can read mind! Let him know when he is right and when he is not, what hurts you- when he is ready to listen and is all with you.

7. Do not stretch your silence (with each other) 

The worst action among couples! The more you take time to settle your fight and arguments (with each other), the worst it gets! Clash of egos often don't allow us to "take that first step," and start all-over-again (happily)! But remember, you can always take the lead and save your relationship.

8. Be appreciative

Passing criticisms can be an easy job, but it takes real guts to appreciate someone! If possible, appreciate him often (even if he never says,"you are beautiful."). Let him know that, you care for him, care for what he does for you, care for his looks etc.

9. Be the attitude you want in him

Try being "him." Meaning, bring-in changes (good) within you, that you would like him to be! Be the role model for your partner and feel more happiness and peace in relationship. 

This post is for both husbands and wives. Be the first one to incorporate these changes in your marriage and create a happily married forever story! All we need to do is -start. Be the change you wish to see in your partner and lead your marriage towards a better ending!

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Embrace Your Body:You Are Beautiful.

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Every "body" has a story. Some stories may sound familiar, but definitely this post is not just my story; but many like me- who think they should love their "body." They should love themselves because they may not be attractive, may not have the perfect body (shape), and may not be as fashionable as others (what people think); but are equally beautiful as any other skinny or zero size women! "I know this is a sensitive subject for many!" Therefore we should all be equally responsible for the "words", we use to describe or comment on someone!

Fashion just cannot be defined by one person or 'for' one person. It is different for every "body." How you pull your clothes together makes you "look different." For some it may be an effortless task, while for some- it may take effort to look your best- just because you cannot fit into everything and anything, like me! But do not feel ashamed about it. We all are born with different features. Embracing them may seem harder and embarrassing, but  remember: "it is your body, and you must love it."

"I know there is a big hue and cry about "losing weight"and being "skinny." And so many girls and women are driven into this mad race. It is getting worse every day.  Blaming the media, celebrities, fashion industry or the models may look like an easy excuse to satisfy ourselves; but, it is people's distorted perception of body image- that should be blamed!"

 "Sometimes, I hate myself for being a part of such society, where you are judged by your looks and clothes, and not by your behavior!" 

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"Dressing well" is an important requirement in all jobs today! Definitely there is a 'business and success value' of dressing; but, that does not mean, you can judge a person's capabilities through his/her dressing? Dressing for your "body type", sometimes may not be as 'alluring' as it should be; but please, "do not judge me by my clothes! Sometimes, it seems a tough task to look our best and or feel confident in the 'clothes' we are expected to wear! But do not blame your body for that! You are beautiful and equally strong to face such 'negative people.'

A woman's body goes through numerous changes; and especially the post-baby body. Some get in-shape, while for many it seems challenging (due to several reasons). Declaring the reasons or, defending yourself, to show your friend that; "you are not usually like this," may satisfy you for sometime, but not for too long. Feel proud about who you are, and how you look-physically!

Self-evaluation is good, but comparing your physical appearance to that any of your notion of "best attractive body" is never going to make you a happier person; nor it will help you embrace your "body image" in the positive way, any-day! We all have some version of "I am not perfect" from inside. But accepting yourself (your body) more important from within, than from just outside. If you feel satisfied with how you look outside, you will definitely make peace with your inner self-image!

"I have had never been skinny (though I do not remember my teen days), and have never wanted to be one! I admire women in good shape (never feel bad to compliment them); also feel motivated to be in "perfect shape," when I see the celebrities, models on glossy magazines, or fashion bloggers; but believe me; they have never happened to be the reasons of 'hating my body.' I like who I'am, and how I carry myself-in terms of fashion and style."

Try these easy practices to learn how to embrace your body:

1. Shop for your Body

Nobody else can ever tell you,"what you should wear?" If you are lucky enough to be noticed, you may stumble across Stacy and Clinton to tell you; "What Not To Wear," but if you are not, try and be your own stylist. Find dresses, pants and tops that flatter your body and make you feel "beautiful."

2. Shop your 'Styles'.

Shop your taste in style, and not for other's negative remarks! If you are not comfortable in shorts and t-shirts, don't go for it, and make yourself feel uncomfortable! Even if it means wearing button-down shirts in summer, rather than wearing sleeveless tops or t-shirts, wear your usual favorites. Do not care for other's negative comments and criticisms. Style with your favorites, and make a statement in fashion. 

3. Have a Love Relationship with your Body.

Surrender to your body and accept the way it is. This will not only bring peace to your life, will also help you feel motivated to reduce your extra weight (if you are happily willing to!) sometimes in the future; when you feel, you are ready! Keep repeating to your body,"I think, you are beautiful, just the way you are now, and I believe, you can get much better tomorrow." Stop hating, and just believe in your love (body), and see how things will start to transform slowly. 

4. Focus on your health.

Sometimes we diet, sometimes we fight (with ourselves by hurting and neglecting body demands), sometimes we try and fail; but still try and try...but do not stop hating our body. In all these attempts to creating an "ideal body," we neglect our health. We forget that, our health is deteriorating, which is turn it is affecting our weight and the look. Feeding your body with mindful eating and small exercises like; walking, dancing or running, can keep your health in check and your mind calm and peaceful. Listen to your body demands like plenty of rest, good 7-8 hours of sleep, drinking lots of water and staying happy and less-stressed!

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

6 Lessons Learned from The Last Month:June 2015

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"The strongest people aren't always the people who win, but the people who don't give up when they lose."

-Ashley Hodgeson.

"When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find ways to do it."

-Dr. David Schwartz.

"We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different."


"I guess these three awesome quotes can sum-up my learning from the last month. But I am more than excited to share the lessons; I have had the opportunity to learn-my way." Small sacrifices made for your family may seem like an ordinary task, but they make big differences. Do not make a sacrifice (s) because you have to, but because you want to (make a mindful decision). 

The first quote so much resonates with me! If you haven't had any chance to meet or live failures; you would not know the pain! Giving -up in such situations can be very easy, but continuing unless you succeed is the mantra; that has got me here- where I am today. "When I often visit the previous pages of my life; I touch the numb scars of too many failures that were once my identity; but their "feel" also makes me realize- how strong and confident I have become in all these years. I am glad, I did not give up!" Life is the best teacher. All we need to do is- "believe." Believe in the mighty powers within you- that can change world. Yes! you heard me right. Changes may take time to be seen, but if you believe; you life is sure going to change and be better.

What we think reflects in our actions. If you just sit and cry out your defeats; no one will believe you. They may pretend listening to your stories, but not really! But if you can; declare your inspiring efforts that changed your story- from a loser to a winner. 

Not just believe; but work dedicatedly towards bringing your dream to life. Dreams are beautiful and they can be true. First; you need to believe that it can be done, and the rest will follow!

I have had the opportunity to learn some powerful lessons from my every-day-life last month. I would like to share with you all and I hope they will be useful to make you better; a lot better each day (as they did to me):

1. Stop getting disappointed from any disapproval. 

A disapproval is the beginning of an opportunity that helps us see and do things in a more better way, in a different effective way. Last month, many readers left my blog and social links. "My very first reaction was- feeling of disapproval followed by disappointment." But I was also happy about them, who are still with me. So I changed my focus and saw opportunities. "I am sure, many might be leaving me in the coming days; but I am also confident that, still many more will be joining me- who love my words and find vibes of inspiration by visiting my blog. 

2. Be a busy "bee" by doing productive and your favorite tasks.

Life is tirelessly fun, when you are too busy! Whether you are a working or a full-time parent; keeping yourself busy in productive tasks can yield you awe-inspiring results. "I may sound ridiculous,but this is true!" The less I spend time in discussing problems and about others' behaviors and reactions, the more peaceful I feel everyday." I get exhausted, but keeping my mind busy all-the-time (look for your favorite tasks often in between) helps me to improve myself- in all aspects.

3. Relationship gets stronger by small sacrifices.

Small sacrifices made for your partner, not just once, but may be many-a-times may sound unacceptable; but try it! They bring good results in the coming days. They tell your partner, "you care for them!" And, "actions speak louder than words."

4. Be okay with failing in your attempts, and just keep going.

Pursuing your passion, may question you several times; if you are doing the right thing, or if it is going to be successful. Important is how far you believe in yourself. Everybody will different opinions about- what you are doing; but ignore them, their remarks and just keep going, because you believe it can be done- and you are doing it! While being in this journey, you may face many negative remarks and comments; you will fail several times, but just get up and go. "I am doing that."

5. Be the role model for your kids.

If you can maintain calmness and peace within the family; your children will learn to do that too! They are seeing the world and it's meaning through your actions and behavior. So be their best teacher!

6. Sharing more news and favorites in pictures:

 a. Hereafter, I am going to write and share more fashion, beauty and personal style posts in the blog.
 b. My favorite creamy mattes lip colors-of the month!
 c. Do not forget to connect with nature quiet often-spend some quality time outside amidst nature-without phone and internet; just for a day. "I am sure; you will ask for more such days! I lived four such days last month- accidentally, but I will have them more often in my everyday life. And this is going to be a conscious decision:)

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