Recently we celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary:) and I was more than excited to celebrate another blessed year of love and understanding.
We have worked 'hard' together, on certain things to make our relationship grow beautifully different. "I am not writing this post to give you some relationship (in marriage) advises; but, to share the lessons that I have learned in all these years. Days weren't easy for either of us; but a little effort, and more of patience got us to do-what we have done in all these years!
Small sacrifices may go unnoticed, unappreciated (many times), but definitely brings-in peace, happiness, and satisfaction in a relationship. We don't need a 'perfect' person to marry and make a 'perfect marriage!' Rather, two imperfect people, who can feel happy and satisfied by accepting each other's imperfections-can be the definition of a 'good marriage'.
All we did was; changed our attitude and behavior towards each other, towards children, towards responsibilities and or even towards doing family chores; and things started changing the better way!
Here are some life-changing lessons that I have learned (as a wife) in my marriage:
1. Reduce your expectations.
"I know, we cannot do this!" We, women love to expect- surprises, love, care, understanding, gifts and what not! "I was no different! but when I self-analyzed, I found that my expectations were too much sometimes!" Rather than expecting a surprise gift; why not plan upon buying your husband/partner a surprise gift? If actions speak louder than words, this would be a way also to let him know that, "you like surprises." There are many reasons to not do anything as such, but try doing it once; or even thrice and see the results? "I am sure, you will see 'good changes' in your relationship!
Most of the times, problems appear in life because we don't listen! Try being a good listener than being a speaker-at least sometimes!
3. Respect Each Other's Passion
This is so important to balance your relationship. Try to have respect for each other's work and passion- even if you don't like it! It may mean the world to your partner, while you don't care. So be kind and patient. Once you start feeling the importance of your passion or favorite activity in your life; you will realize how important it is to respect other's passion too!
4. Be more present for each other
Do not interfere, if he is trying to avoid matters from you! Let him be confident of you to tell everything and anything to you! Wait! But always remain present in his life. Let him know that; "there will be always one person whom he can speak to- anytime."
5. Show more love personally than in public.
We like to show others' that," we are perfect couples in love." But the inside story may be different. Don't care what others think of you both. Important is how close and understanding you are with each other! How best you honor each other's feelings and intimacy. Don't feel bad, if you went over any arguments or disagreements in public! Nobody is perfect! Important is how you make up-to it!
6. Voice your needs
Ask for help, when you need (from him). Not everybody can read mind! Let him know when he is right and when he is not, what hurts you- when he is ready to listen and is all with you.
7. Do not stretch your silence (with each other)
The worst action among couples! The more you take time to settle your fight and arguments (with each other), the worst it gets! Clash of egos often don't allow us to "take that first step," and start all-over-again (happily)! But remember, you can always take the lead and save your relationship.
8. Be appreciative
Passing criticisms can be an easy job, but it takes real guts to appreciate someone! If possible, appreciate him often (even if he never says,"you are beautiful."). Let him know that, you care for him, care for what he does for you, care for his looks etc.
9. Be the attitude you want in him
Try being "him." Meaning, bring-in changes (good) within you, that you would like him to be! Be the role model for your partner and feel more happiness and peace in relationship.
This post is for both husbands and wives. Be the first one to incorporate these changes in your marriage and create a happily married forever story! All we need to do is -start. Be the change you wish to see in your partner and lead your marriage towards a better ending!