Monday, March 28, 2016

All About "Being You."

I know I have been quiet irregular in posting from past couple of weeks. Sorry about the gap without any notice; but I have had been so busy with kids and family that I almost had to let go everything else- at least for sometime! It was easy for me to sacrifice my reading and writing time, sleep time, and any other self care rituals- I usually do to take care of my mind, body and health. 

Despite all of your efforts, you may still feel sometimes that you aren't enough, and you still aren't the person you know you should be. I was so caught up in keeping myself busy; that I was afraid I had to let go too many things. But not being available to my kids and husband would be the last thing on earth I would ever do! They need me and my time- as family time is the most wonderful gift you'll give yourself and to the society. "My kids are growing so fast, and I never want to miss these moments- rather be there for them all-the-time."

I want to very honest in telling you that, "I am not unhappy because I have so much to do (I love keeping myself too busy), but I fear that time is slipping through my fingers and I am not doing enough of what I should be doing with respect to my passion. I want to do more and be more."

I may be having too too less friends in my life at present; because I've stopped being everything to everyone. But I'm glad those few people in my life are my "besties"! They love me for who I'm, respects my work and passion, values my friendship and cares for our relationship, knows my everyday struggles, and encourages me to become who I want to be! I'm more focused since the day I decided to be "just myself." I realized there's no use explaining my problems and concerns to anybody else. Rather if I work resolving things my way, I'll be more peaceful and happy. 

Leading a life where we are more dependent about "being accepted or not," is like living a life for others, and not for yourself. 

"For most of us, our early life is mostly based upon how others want us to live, act, and react." But as we grow we understand that it's our life and we need to take full control of it. "We can't always live for others. We need to live for ourselves too!"

"I have spent my early life waiting for approvals, and seeking validation from others; believing that your dreams and values are not that important, as it to act according to everybody else- than you! We must have a "pleasing personality" in order to stay grounded and being accepted in the society, family, among friends, and in schools and colleges." But as I grew, I decided to create my limits; and not care what other's develop an opinion about me! I will have a life of my own, rather than waiting for people's validation of me. 

People will often see you entirely differently than you want them to. No one, yes! no one will ever see you the way you see yourself. And as long as I'm creating a "beautiful me," and not doing any harm to anybody in any respect; I guess, I must listen to what my heart tells me! I guess we're all alike underneath the surface- longing to be in alignment with our true self, with our true nature, and with happiness and peace.

But after taking these tiny steps towards trying to understand every part of me have had dramatic effects on my life. I started seeing the I was longing for all these years. Hope you will find them useful too!

  1.  Look in the mirror and ask yourself, "what would you like to do in your life, if you weren't afraid of anybody and anything?
  2. Always remember: "You are unique. You are enough."
  3. Accept who you really are! Be TRUE to yourself.
  4. Commit to being the BEST version of you every day.
  5. The more you FORGIVE, the more you'll ENJOY being you. Trying to forget may be hard or even impossible; but forgive and shift any kind of the load from your heart and mind, and feel lighter and happier.
  6. Know and RESPECT your LIMITS.
  7. Practice staying Calm and at PEACE all the time.
  8. Stop HIDING behind the mask and know that it's okay if people know about you. You can always control your life and people who enter your world.
  9. Anything or anybody that seems hard to control- let it go. We don't need to control everything around us.
  10. STOP trying to FIT IN and start embracing your TRUE SELF.
Don't change so people will love you, accept you, and include in your life. One day you will definitely get tired and feel frustrated of being "not you!"  We hide our negative emotions, and weaknesses with the fear of being judged, not accepted, and not loved . Wanting to be accepted and longing to fit in everywhere- It's so normal. Isn't it? We all want that. And often we do everything we can to finally fit in and belong! But does that make you happy?

Do leave me your thoughts in the comments below. If this post anywhere relates to you then don't hesitate to share your thoughts with me. Would love to hear from you and learn from you.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

13 Favorite Ways To Spend Time Alone and Be Happy

Being lonely and happy at the same time may sound little intimidating,but it can become the "best possible experience" (s), once you know how to enjoy your alone time. Solitude can be a hard choice when forced, but when you make a joyful choice to be alone, then "solitary life" gets a new definition- a more joyful explanation, may be!

Lately, when I was thinking deeply about, "how to begin this post;" I came across this beautiful quote by my favorite author: Robin Sharma. He somehow reads my mind :)....and never fails to inspire my soul.

Spending time all by yourself quiet often is as important as having a "good" night sleep. When life feels a little heavy; and you don't seem to feel inspired and or impressed- take a break and walk into the silence around you. This is one of the best ways to embrace the silence within you. We are often so distressed by the things happening around us, that we are very likely to lose ourselves in the chaotic dramas of every day life. So often be your own company, than looking for people (you want to trust) to connect with!

I love spending some "quality time" with myself- more than often these days; and I don't even regret; not being available to others'. I have realized the importance of being myself with myself- without any fear of being judged or criticized; because I get to do a lot of self-assessment when I spend some alone time. Self-reflection is a must to know yourself in a much better way. Spending time with yourself gives you the freedom to think, be you, be creative, and to develop your self-confidence.
Don't get me wrong! I am not saying that, "you shouldn't be a social person." But sometimes when you feel like; you are tired of pushing yourself too much for others- pleasing them to accept you and approve you; then I would say, you definitely take a break from all these and be your own. Research shows that spending time alone in silence improves your physical and mental health. 

There can so many likable ways to be all by yourself, and still feel happy and joyful- in own company. I have few of them to share. You pick the one that mostly resonates with your favorite "me" time activity (s):

1. Shop

Go and find your "best look", when others are busy. When you are shopping all alone you not just have enough time to look for the things you love, and or would try in future; but you have all your opinion about a particular clothing or an accessory you would like to buy yourself!

2. Sit By The Beach or Lake

Nothing can give you that inner peace and tranquility; than just by sitting alone and watching those rising and falling waves crashing upon the shore, the meeting point of sky and water, sea birds flying over the sea, noisy seagulls, and tickles of the restless sand.

3. In a Bookstore

4. Visit a Library or a Museum

5. Being Present in the Present

Quietly sit anywhere but outside and watch everything and anything that's happening around you at that moment. Live in the moment and realize how life is throwing tasks and responsibilities at everybody. Simply sit and watch people. "People gazing" allows you to know people from different places and walks of life. This is also a good way to find yourself- know who you are, and what you want to do in life, how far you think you can go achieving your dream life; etc.

6. Gardening

7. Organizing 

8. Cooking

9. Watching your favorite movie

I would definitely ask  you to refrain from any kind of electronic devices and from internet, but for some; watching their favorite movie alone can make them happy and lively again.So go for it. I sometimes do that too!

10. Outdoor Photography

The best photography can be done when you wander outdoor or in the midst of nature. Inspirations can only be captured by being all by yourself. If you love outdoor photography then you can never feel lonely- rather more busy and occupied.

11. Write/Read

The results (mind and body) are stunning when you read a book, or write your story, article in silence. 

12. Spending Time In Nature

Connect with every bit of it. Spending time alone in can help you reap powerful physical and mental benefits. There are hundreds of benefits that you can obtain by absorbing or just observing the nature like; a boost in your mood, relieving stress, increasing focus, strengthening immune system and so many such benefits.

13. Creative act

Engaging your mind in some creative acts can improve your confidence level. "Creative creatures" often find themselves being full of energy and life- to do something new every time. 

Being alone especially during the rough times of our life; when we are surrounded by worrisome thoughts and problems, can help us find ourselves. I have seen finding answers and finding back my courage (to fight problems and difficult people in my life), when I am out wandering or just quietly sitting all-by-myself. Silence have mighty magical powers that gives you strength and the wisdom

So do you like being alone all by yourself? How do you enjoy being alone? Don't forget to leave me your comments, and if you really liked the post then do share.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

4 Must-Do Things To Stay Motivated Every day

'M' for March; and 'M' for Motivation. Let's make March the "month of motivation." Collect your motivation mantras to survive those worst days.

We all need that "kick of motivation," everyday to jump start our day. A little sprinkle of motivation at the beginning of your usual everyday tasks, or before trying out anything new; can make you more productive, happy and grateful each day! Things that you have had been doing on a daily basis: for days, weeks, and months together; can make you feel bored and unmotivated; so it is important to stay focused and feel inspired to carry on your routine works- happily.

Motivation is that "magic" that can help you push yourself ahead of those rough paths in life, career, and choices. It is important to have that "can-do" energy all-the-time; whether while doing your chores, or meeting deadlines. Your energy can drive your enthusiasm to reach for possibilities and success; at work or at "play!"

I want to share those four elements of motivation, that you must have in your platter to be more energetic and productive in life. Do you know what drives someone to continue and succeed in their endeavor? It's motivation! The willingness to make their attempts "go-big," or be seen, and heard. Doesn't matter how hard my days seem to be; I never forget to feel that "punch of motivation" every single day! It keeps me alive and do my tasks sincerely and mindfully.

So here they are:

1. Always look forward to something.

The key element for staying motivated in your job or in life depends upon looking forward to something amazing in future. This idea expands your perspective of life. Suddenly you feel more inspired, and see possibilities. This brings you "happy feelings" to learn about the event, even before it actually takes place. Feeling good about something that's going to happen, can automatically make you feel good, very good indeed! Always keep your calendar blocked (for yourself)  by scheduling some fun things for the future weeks. If there is nothing to look forward to, try to create something.

2. Celebrate "small wins" even before you move to anything else.

Acknowledging your "small achievements" is a must-thing to keep moving in life! Don't forget to give yourself a pat on the back for the job well-done. Doesn't matter if your wins are big or small, they definitely need to be recognized- by you. Don't hesitate to share with your friends and family too! I'm sure there will be many, who will make you feel equally special about your hard work and success. But, important is; you must know what you just did; and feel good about completing the task successfully.

3. Don't push yourself "too much" for anything in the world.

Be it anything, don't try to overdo! You are likely to lose interest, and feel exhausted. Take a break when you feel it's too much. Go for a short vacation, or just out of office, or find ways to do less work in the kitchen, or limit your online accessibility. Whatever it is, just shut it down for a short period of time, relax, rejuvenate, and spend some quality time refreshing your mind, body and soul. Mute your "thinking process," and planning, and just breathe in the moment. Nothing is as important than you functioning "normally."

4. Tame your expectations.

Limit your thoughts about not being sufficient, or having sufficient. Every-time I start to  (or forced to) think that; "I'm not good enough, and somebody else is better than me, I try and remind myself of the position I am at now; than I was in my past. I remind myself of all the problems and challenges I faced and came this far." This helps me to refocus and  continue being better and doing better. 

If you want to make you life more interesting and better; keep your motivation levels in check! Find out what motivates you. Create small achievement goals for yourself, and work slowly towards them- yes, without any big expectations, of course! Constantly motivate yourself and feed your energy with some positive, inspiring reads and acts- to keep your spirit alive and kicking. 

What do you do for staying motivated in your every day life? Leave me your thoughts in the comments below.

Have A Successful March. 

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