Tuesday, April 17, 2018

What Does A True Friendship Look Like?

I'm going to be very honest here.
This is not my very favorite topic that I chose to write about today. I have had always trouble fostering a true friendship. And I still fear making new friends. Not because I'm weak or I lack something; but I fear my trust getting shattered again.

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But by some stroke of luck and blessings, I have few wonderful friends in my life, whom I can reach out anytime. Life is "fun" and interesting when you have a bunch of "good" friends: to laugh with you, to motivate you, to believe in you, and to help you become better each day.

This practical real world doesn't understand deep connections. We are busy picking people who share same mind as us, and there's just no time for the real heart talk. But I believe in "true" connection, doesn't matter if I made that contact in the real world or in the virtual world! I want it to be true. To be authentic.

I remember when I was in my teenage years- when I ached more for company, the more isolated I felt; because I had to always depend upon people's approval to include me in their life, to make me feel I matter too! Growing up I realized a "strong" friendship requires a lot of investment: of time, attention, trust, hand-on-heart sincerity, and patience to make it grow deeper over time. It's never too late to learn to be an amazing friend.

So how do you know if you have built a deep-rooted friendship or connection? Look for  these signs that will tell you, that you have all the necessary elements of building an amazing meaningful connection. 

1. You and your friends stick together through your highs and lows.
2. You and your friends equally initiate and reciprocate your value of friendship.
3. You and your friends support, encourage, and motivate each other as an when required.
4. You keep your ego our of the boundary while sharing your experiences or opinions.
5. You forgive each other quite often and reconnect.
6. Your connection is never influenced or affected by either of your success, present status, or the kind of people you both hang out with, or due to any other kind of personal or social "elements".
7. You are closely connected because you like each other's company, and want to be together, you want to stay connected to one another.
8. You often encourage each other to continue doing your dream, and to become what you have always looked forward to.
9. You react calmly and more patiently when you differ on something.
10. More than anything you respect each other by keeping the secrets to yourself.
11. You're genuinely happy for each other's success without letting jealousy come your friendship way.
12. You feel safe and comfortable to bare all your emotions in front of them.
13. You accept each other just the way you are- no matter what different cultures or background you belong to.

Having supportive, honest friends can make a huge difference in our overall happiness. Do you agree? How deep and real are your friendship/connections? How do you evaluate them? Do leave me your thoughts in the comments below.

Friday, April 6, 2018

Reflections on My Journey So Far: Self Worth

The end of the month/or the beginning of a month is the perfect time for doing a little self-reflection. Therefore I have decided to do one post featuring, 'reflections on my journey' every first week of the month. I want to take a moment here and share few insights and wisdom of how accepting and loving myself have transformed my life. How I have painted my life inside and out with authenticity, courage, and with gratitude- from ever since I started valuing myself?

I was excited (and little sad too) to retrace my steps and find a little more about myself, and my journey so far!

It was hard for me to accept that, "people surrounding my life didn't find me worthy, did not see me being blessed with some wonderful skills, and never noticed my talents." We all long for appraisals. Don't we? We share equal desires to we loved, to be noticed, to belong. I look back and realize that in my younger years I suffered from low self-worth. I always looked to others to make me feel worthy and loved, rather than finding myself enough.

Wanting to feel loved and liked is not an uncommon desire. We just need to recognize that we must accept and love ourselves first- rather than looking for it anywhere else!

Slowly but surely, I began to find the best in me. I silenced the voice in my head that told me I wasn't good enough.

For many years I thought I wasn't good enough and nobody supported me or believed in me.Through this journey of self-love I have realized - there's so much goodness in it. The world will accept you and treat you when you show up authentically- with flaws and failures. When you show them how genuinely you have evolved through hate and criticisms, and how deep is the connection you hold with your dreams and desires.

Keep yourself in high regards. You are no less than anybody, and you are never powerless either. If you show the universe- you're worthy of love, the universe will send you people who will love you and respect you as you so desire. When we tell ourselves who we are - is the kind of energy we put out to the world too!

When you truly love yourself, own your emotions, grow through failures and live a purpose-driven, passionate, beautiful life you are anchored towards self-love- you create a deep bond with your soul self. You start valuing your existence, no matter where you are in life! You no more 
feel paralyzed by the fear of not being accepted. 

Self worth is that illuminating reason in our life that helps us to understand- that we are all born with different qualities that fill us up, and make us feel alive and well inside. 

These are the positive affirmations that I have been saying to myself ever since my acceptance (of myself) aligned with my purpose to believe in my path. I hope you find them helpful too to recognize your own worth.

  1. I will not let any status, look, degree, relationship, approval and validation, behavior; or anything else dictate my worth. I'm equally worthy of love and respect than anybody else in the world.
  2. I will continue to learn and grow.
  3. I will make mistakes. I will fail often. And I will use them all to create a path to tread on to achieve my dreams.
  4. I will do the things I can.
  5. I will do the things I enjoy.
  6. I don't and will never compare myself to others.
  7. I am growing and changing for the better.
  8. I love the person I'm becoming.
  9. I have great ideas.
  10. I believe in my skills and abilities.
  11. I am an inspiration. I make useful contributions to the society.
  12. I radiate love, kindness, and authenticity.
  13. I'm committed to my journey- no matter what comes my way. I will never quit.
  14. Life is fun and rewarding when I'm patient. 
  15. I appreciate everything I have. I live in joy.
  16. I trust myself. I'm confident of my skills and abilities.
  17. I am passionate. I'm enthusiastic and inspire others.
  18. I am focused and persistent.
  19. I am OK as I am. I accept and love myself.
  20. I am always growing and developing.
  21. I have the power to change myself- every following day.
  22. I surround myself with people who bring out the best in me.
  23. I have become an avid reader and a purposeful writer. I love who I have become.
  24. I strongly believe: It's never too late to become who you want to be.
  25. Each day I notice I am becoming better than I was yesterday.
  26. I know I can achieve my dream.
Life isn't a competition (I always believe that). We need not have to be at the same "level" as others. So learn to trust your path and keep going. There's no rule-book or deadline to achieve everything we want in life. Some go fast, really really fast and some go slow while enjoying their journey- stumbling, falling, getting up again, or by stopping in between to breathe and feel alive; leaning into the moment and showing trust in their journey- and that is me! I have complete faith in my journey.

Do you trust your journey too? Please do leave me your thoughts about this post in the comment below. 

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