I've a confession to make!
I don't remember how the affair started!
But my love for books have been immensely deeply increasing with each passing day. I've found my soul mate, my best friend forever, and my family, in a book. I've found my wings of courage and freedom through books, and ever since that day I've been reading and buying more and more books. There are so many books in my library that I want to start reading, do re-reading, and want to add it to my library. My appetite for books is seemingly increasing and seems insatiable day after day!
I cannot share my love (books) with anyone. I feel if I share it with someone (give it to someone), they will not take good care of it. They will not love and care for them, the way I do for my books.
I feel a connection, and at the same time a detachment too! When I bring a book(s) from the library; and after reading when I realize it's time for me to return the book, I feel an ache inside me- the pain of detachment, fear of maybe not seeing that book again. It stirs an indiscreet, absurd longing. And that yearning forces me to buy the book from the store and make it mine- just mine!
Do you ever feel this way for your books?
Books made me understand that I'm not alone.
We are more similar than different.
We want to be 'free', we want to fly high, we want to open up our heart to the world, we want to belong and find a connection that can uplift our spirits, we don't want to face the uncomfortable; yet we gather courage and do it, we embrace the feelings of discomfort and allow them to show us where we need to go! We sometimes lead, and sometimes we let others lead for saving our sanity, we have dreams underneath that we want to bring it to the surface and out, we want to help, we are so vulnerable deep inside, but we try to face the world with courage and strength. Almost all of us have the same quest and many more!
I read similar stories, struggles, triumphs, and failures. Everything looks so relatable. My quest for learning more about their 'shifts', deepens when I read how a author picks herself up bravely to continue her journey of exploration of self; or knowledge of the subject, or human behaviors. I wish to go down that lane and push my limits to explore myself, to explore my skills. Reading books gives me that hope that I'm almost there! Authors whisper in my ears: "Hey, Epsita! "We've all been there. You'll do it too!"
My courtship with books have been quite long now, but my passion to read more and more is becoming my obsession now. I want to learn new words, new definitions, new thoughts on similar topics. I want to devour every details!
I don't like taking pictures of the books I've and sharing it on social media. But sharing the knowledge is caring, so I insist myself- I do it!
When I explore new ways of expressing my thoughts through reading, I feel a kind of ecstasy. I want to hold those words in my arms and possess them.
Let me share the thoughts about love I feel; is something similar to what author Jhumpa Lahiri writes in her book,
"When you're in love, you want to live forever. You want the emotion, the excitement you feel to last.
Reading in Italian arouses a similar longing in me. I don't want to die, because my death would mean the end of my discovery of the language. Because every day there will be a new word to learn. Thus true love can represent eternity."
This is exactly how I feel about my love for books. I want to learn more, write more about what I've learned, and share it with the world. My heart is longing for that embrace when I'll be able to totally immerse myself in reading- and nothing/nobody will be able to disturb us during those magical moments. I want to get lost there forever and ever.
My LOVE for books is never-ending!